no time for nonsense

I've disappeared. I went on a creative break. And now I'm back with nothing (except pictures of tattooed barbies and a japanese cat waving her paw in a mexican wrestling-mask). I'm empty. It's the first time I'm writing so that it feels like eating porridge.

The problem is that all my energy goes to trying to find my focus. I'd like to settle down with a nice job and have some time to write on the side. A nice job, nothing else, no ambition, just nice. I'm too busy doing 3 sad little jobs that don't really pay me much anything, just because I'm so keen on developing myself, learning, and finally finding something better while making a living meanwhile. I wish I could just take a shower and go to 1 job every day, like Rene does. He's happy and he has time for watching "Scrubs" and such nonsense. I'd like my life to be like that.

1. My main job is mostly folding hoodies 43 times a day. Although folding hoodies really isn't hard, especially with my 5-year-hoodie-folding-experience, just try doing it in German, and it becomes goddamn hard. My boss looks at me like a child all day, 'cos the language still remains so difficult for me, that it makes me behave like a nervous retard. I still do it, basically 'cos I hope that I will eventually learn, and that will keep me from being nervous ever again.

2. My other job is writing, of which most is for free. The free stuff is taking alot of time from the 'real' writing jobs. It's fun, though, but I've heard, that is no-good in the society we live in. I'm doing it, so I'd find more jobs. So far it's working out OK. Keep your fingers crossed, and I'll tell you more later.

3. The cake-business. It's great fun and an OK income, but the summer is bound to be over soon, and people don't hang out in parks anymore. It's been a great experience, though, and given me faith in entrepreneurship.

Last Sunday in Mauerpark. Sam and crippled Rene came along! :)

I was the only one last time in this area, and now everybody was selling stuff there!

My youngest customer. I swear I didn't threaten him with the cookie monster, he just ate the bun like it was the last thing he'd eat! Or then he just hated it. What do you think of the look on his face?

The problem is, that now I can't focus on anything. People tell me to focus. What should I focus on? My gut says nothing. They say I should focus my blog more on fashion, I should find what I'm good at, or what interests me most. Well the thing is, firstly, everything interests me! I can't separate anything, 'cos I get excited about everything. Secondly, I'm OK at anything I do, but not especially great in anything that would actually bring food to the table. You see, I can fold many hoodies, bake nice cupcakes and write about whatever, but that's hardly a living. I would make a great housewife though.

Please help.